I know I haven't blogged since my birthday, but that's the way I've always been and I've come to accept that now. I start a new journal or blog or something where the idea is that it's meant to be maintained on a regular basis, but that never happens. Then I come back to it months later, go "oh, whoops!" and make a promise to myself to maintain it more regularly. And then I abandon it again. Yeah, I know... vicious circle.
Buuuut, I'm back and better than ever! Above is pretty much how we brought in the new year! After two weeks in Melbourne catching up with family and spending a long overdue Christmas and New Year's Eve/Day with the Melbourne side of the family, we took to the seas on board Royal Caribbean's Voyager of the Seas.
That ship is the most luxurious, incredible, amazing, indescribable thing I have ever seen!! There was literally a street called "The Promenade" that ran down the middle of the ship. There was a theater, a screening room, the spa, a rock climbing wall, basketball court, mini golf, ice rink, casino, and so much more!! We went from Sydney to Melbourne, Hobart and then back up to Sydney and it was the most glorious 8 days I've ever spent at sea! I seriously didn't want to come home and I think we're all still dealing with withdrawal whenever we think of that cruise.
After the epic holiday of a lifetime, things got back to normal and things changed in a big way pretty quickly. As a little bit of a back story, I've struggled with my weight since year 9. I've just put on and put on and put on and even though I've tried Weight Watcher, Lite 'n' Easy, Tony Ferguson, Michelle Bridges' 12 Week Body Transformation and other countless ways to try and lose weight, I've always ended up going off the rails and putting whatever I lost back on and then some.
So, dad and I went and saw my GP. She had recommended bariatric (weight loss) surgery to me about 2 years ago and I was strongly against the idea. I felt that if I did it, it would mean I had failed. I was absolutely certain that I would not do surgery and I could lose weight without it, but last year, I warmed to the idea and in October, I found myself in my first consultation with the surgeon who would go on to perform my gastric sleeve surgery (it's also called a gastric tube or a tube/sleeve gastrectomy).
I officially weighed in at 163kgs and I'm not afraid of admitting to it. We went on our holiday after that, so my parents and I have no doubt that I put on 2kgs (if not more) on that holiday, because everyone else had put on weight too and they were eating better than me and exercising more than me while on holiday! At that weight, our scales at home wouldn't give me a reading because they only went up to 155kgs, so we don't have a way of absolutely knowing what my heaviest was, but we're calling it 165kgs.
I had to see a dietician and the surgeon's GP beforehand and had to do a blood test, which found my iron levels were pretty much bottomed out and I had to spend a day in hospital prior to the surgery having an iron infusion. Leading up to the surgery, I also had to do Optifast (a Very Low Calorie Diet, or VLCD) to prep my liver and allow it to be in the best condition it can be because they have to move the liver out of the way during the surgery and it's a lot easier if the liver's not fatty, but Optifast meant that when I weighed in at the hospital on the day of the surgery, I had already lost 10kgs.
Now, a gastric sleeve is not something that everyone is familiar with. There are a few different surgeries that can be done - the gastric bypass, gastric band (or, more commonly, lap band), and gastric sleeve. I think there might be one or two lesser known procedures done in the US, but I can't remember them.
Credit: gastricsleevenow.com
The above photo shows the lap band and gastric sleeve surgeries. The lap band (on the left) is where a band is put around the top of the stomach and the port is left just under the skin of the stomach. A saline solution is then injected into or injected out of the port, depending on whether the band needs to be loosened or tightened. While this can work, it's able to be cheated because you can still get high calorie drinks, melted ice cream, melted chocolate and even McDonald's past the band really easily into the main part of the stomach, whereas fibrous things like bread, chicken and veggies are hard to get past.
The gastric sleeve (on the right) is where the surgeon physically removes about 80% of your stomach, creating a "sleeve" like effect. Yes, it's permanent. Yes, it's irreversible. But it's like forced portion control and that's what I needed. For the rest of my life, I'll only be able to eat about 1 cup of food before I feel full. But I'm totally ok with that and I knew about these things going into the surgery.
So, on Feb 4th, I was prepped and wheeled into surgery. I remember the anesthetist telling me to count back from 10 and then the next thing I remember is waking up in the recovery bay and feeling either sore or very nauseous, but my memory is pretty hazy, so I'm not sure which (although I think it was nausea). I didn't have much pain at all while I was in hospital - only a feeling of discomfort when I tried to sit up or prop myself up in bed... basically anything that required stomach muscles!!
I was sent home after three nights in hospital and was told to go home and rest. I wasn't allowed to drive for two weeks after the surgery (I think because of the meds I was on, but not exactly sure). I had to inject Clexane into my stomach for the next 10 days to make sure my blood stayed relatively thin and I didn't develop any blood clots. I was on tablets for a bit, but I took it all in my stride.
I was back at work 2 weeks after my surgery and I have not looked back!!! To date, I've lost 33.1kgs and am down to 131.9kgs!! I had told a few people beforehand and the support I've had has been incredible!! I am finally getting to the stage where I am able to accept that I am beautiful and I have not been able to do that for years!!! I'm now only able to eat a small bowl of food before I get full and it still amazes me sometimes how little I have to eat before I get full!!
Since the surgery, I've just constantly been noticing the small things. The arms on chairs now no longer dig into my thighs and leave them bruised for the next couple of days. Stairs are easier to take. There's more room between me and my steering wheel in my car. I am just developing the most positive outlook and I am big on motivational and inspiration things at the moment. I am getting excited about clothes now because they're fitting better and I can already feel the change in my clothes.
This is the first time I've spoken about my surgery in such a public way. I have only spoken to people face to face about it so far and it's only been to select people. But, by doing this, I am opening up and showing the most personal side to me I've ever put out there. After Angelina Jolie publicly wrote about her double mastectomy this week, I've toyed with the idea of writing about it. And I decided that if I'm going to write about 2013 being amazing, then I have to talk about it.
This year, everything has just been going right. I'm having more success at work than I've ever had in any of my other jobs and it's going great. I was a bridesmaid at my best friend's wedding in April and I can't put into words how good I felt that day. My days are brighter and I wish I had a time machine because I can't wait for the future. I've started to pick up learning Spanish again and I'm acting on my dream of being a makeup artist.
I had a girlfriend ask me to do her makeup for her wedding, which meant a lot to me - it was the first time I had properly done someone else's makeup (which she knew) and it for her wedding!! Her daughter now has me "booked" for her ball in June and in June, I'm also enrolling in a makeup course and taking the step towards a nationally recognised qualification. Once I'm qualified, I want to start doing makeup on the side to my "real" job. My ultimate dream, one day, is to have my own business doing makeup and maybe one day expanding into doing makeup for film, tv and photo shoots.
So, I decided at the end of last year, that this year was going to be my big year. So far, it's been bigger and more amazing than I could have imagined and it will only get better from here on out - like the title of this post says, 2013 is the year that is and the year that will be.
